Radical Love

In “Three Little Words,” or whatever my last post was called, I mentioned the miracle of healing that occurred after the Big News.  For those who have not read my premier post, the Big News is that the two young loves of my life are now gay.  In fact, there is potential that they dated for a while – they did purchase neighboring homes in an exclusive neighborhood.  Here’s the thing…While Lou and George became gay,  I became a born-again Christian.  I felt better, but not too much different than before.  Lou, however, determined that he never would see me again.  He moved to New York.  I live a long ways from New York – it is the farthest one could get within the contiguous United States.  Let us enjoy the irony of this moment.  The man I loved, who presumably loved me, from before I owned a razor until after my SECOND child was born, determined to never see me again because he was certain I would judge him.  Maybe he thought I would be cruel?  I can’t make sense of it except for this:  We Christians have failed in this area.  We have donated tens if not hundreds of millions of dollars for HIV meds, HIV orphans, and HIV education in Africa.  Yet we have turned our backs on the group most at risk here at home.  Even our most esteemed leaders have cast proverbial stones at the gay population, though Jesus Himself said very clearly that we have no right.  Unfortunately, the church has followed suit.  We have turned our backs on gays, telling them that what we have is not for them.  Such arrogance!  The message of the Lord is for everyone – EVERYONE.  Not everyone who is saved – too late!  Not everyone who is without sin – there is nobody (remember that “the beauty of Grace is that it makes life unfair;” God does not weigh sin).  Not everyone who is American – we already have every blessing.  The message of the Lord is for the marginalized, those who need to hear love and acceptance. 

This may seem trivial to some, but this was the greatest blow I have suffered as an adult.  Lou and I had more than a sordid affair, we were best friends.  There were traumas and trials that we suffered through with such desperation.  Our relationship was only mildly physical¹ but so deeply emotional.  I have needed my best friend these last years.  The many reasons?  Another day.  But on a strictly superficial level, what woman doesn’t want to shoe shop with a man who appreciates the way the stilletoes look WITH the dress, not without it.  Accessories are ART, girl!  This was a lesson in love for me.  Once again, Lou and George taught me about love.  First, we Christians cannot face our Lord and admit to turning our backs on an entire group of people we never took the time to know.  There is a song, possibly by Thousand Foot Crutch?  Maybe not.  Anyway, the haunting lyric is “Jesus paid much to high a price/for us to pick and choose who should come.”  Yes, homosexuality is a Biblical sin, but so is what we did an hour or two ago and that thought we had 30 minutes before that.  Remember, God does not weigh this.  Get the picture?  I think my neighbors have too much debt (a sin), but that doesn’t keep me from enjoying their company.  It’s none of my business.  Refusing to befriend a person because he has a boyfriend?  Sin. 

So here’s the lesson:

1. True, deep love exists and need not be dependent on consummation
2. Never will I let anyone believe that I will judge him
3. The commandment to love others as thyself is radical; it requires thinking and reflection apart from outside pressure.  It is personal and SERIOUS.

This was mentally composed this morning in the shower, when it was so much more concise and eloquent, rife with scripture and emotion.  Still, after the ravages of the day, the fact remains the same.  I not only miss my best friend, but I mourn for the pain that I and the Christian community have caused.  After the three days of tears and suffering, I changed from the greatest James Dobson devotee to my own person, studying scripture and becoming truly different.  Somehow, through all of this I have learned to love my neighbor².

¹Stop laughing – not intended to be funny.

²I have not reached the Jesus-like level at which I can still love my neighbors in Wal-Mart.  I am working towards it, but cannot seem to foster good tidings past the crowded, lawless parking lot.  Please pray for me.